


see-through

by Freecure



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, No spoilers though so, Post KHIII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 19:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18037553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freecure/pseuds/Freecure
Summary: Roxas didn't want to start all over again.





	see-through

**Author's Note:**

> in this Hayner and Roxas have been dating for about 6-8 months? also, i still hate summaries!!

The sound of keyblades clashing, searing flames and ice bursting didn't haunt him. The looks of resignation and fear on the faces of those he battled, the stares of distaste and sorrow before eyes closed and world's changed didn't keep him up at night. The _fading_ gave him nightmares, left him staring at the ceiling as he shifted through memories, whether his own or someone else's.

The bitter taste of Xion fading away in his arms, leaving behind a promise he couldn't keep. Axel, fading to darkness after battling through fire and broken trust, a friendship that Roxas hadn't rightly recalled at the time. Naminé, killing him kindly with honesty he’d earned. A hand pulled her into the darkness and the words she left with him lingered in his soul.

A town that held so much but then nothing at all. The fake relationships that Roxas had cherished so deeply, he'd stayed up contemplating ways to set things right. Through glitches, interference, nobodies, and frozen time, Roxas held them close as the only constant.

But they, too, were taken away, codes and numbers that imitated and adapted.

He stared at the same spot on the ceiling. The nightmare spot, he called it. A black circle that Axel had assured him wasn't mold. It stared back at him, unchanging. Another constant and the only company he had when the nightmares came to visit.

Roxas's hand passing straight through Hayner woke him up. He lifted his hand above him, felt the sinking feeling in his gut when Hayner, Pence and Olette turned and didn't see him. The incessant thoughts in his mind had told him it was a dream or another glitch. In a moment, things would go back to normal, four kids goofing around and wasting their time until school started.

Those thoughts didn't help, didn't spare him the pain of having learned everything was a lie. Roxas grappled with the fact that now _nothing_ was

Nearly two years and the nightmares still visited him, replaying the worst moments of his life like a horror movie. His hand settled down against his chest. He continued his staring contest with the nightmare spot.

It troubled him because Hayner had been at the forefront. His traumatized mind had fixated on his determined smile and brown eyes that’d seen through him. It felt like a slap to the face after the day he’d spent with Hayner, his head resting on his shoulder, their hands intertwined, healing bruises and scratches with a well timed cura that covered them in vines and lotus petals.

The eight of them sat on the clock tower. They took up the whole length of concrete. Roxas always took his place next to Hayner, stole bites from his ice cream and laughed at the jokes whispered in his ear. He snickered when he shoved Hayner a little too hard and the dumb nerd would always make a big show of nearly falling. As if Roxas wouldn't catch him if he did.

Roxas didn't want to start over, to regress into the best friend routine when they’d turned into something more. He couldn't do it a third time and as he stared at the ceiling with eyes just seconds from crying, the terrible thought of the second time being fake wouldn't leave him alone.

Roxas felt for his phone under his pillow. The black and white case rested comfortably in his hand as he scrolled through his contacts. Just hours ago, Hayner, a.k.a _Dumb nerd <3_, had brought up Olette’s birthday along with the question on what they should do. Roxas, being the only one beside Naminé, Olette and Isa who could cook without making the food unedible or burning it, suggested they make her a birthday cake and plan a gathering. Hayner counteracted with a plan of going somewhere, to the beach or another city not too far away.

The insertion point blinked condescendingly and Roxas watched it. His eyes felt heavy, ready and waiting to cry but eager for sleep. He touched his phone with the pad of his thumb and typed a simple message. It was fifty-fifty if Hayner actually answered, so Roxas figured he may as well take the chance.

 _hey u awake_?

Seconds passed and Roxas watched his screen fade to black. He continued to stare, hope diminishing with each moment spent in quiet darkness. His eyelids drooped farther down with each blink. Then his phone vibrated and lit up in his hand.

_ye ah u ok?_

Roxas smiled for the first time since waking up. It looked like he was lucky tonight. He glanced at the scowling picture of Hayner that was an absolute treasure in Roxas's mind and felt that… it wasn’t enough. After that dream, he needed to see the truth for himself, touch it, feel it and remind himself that dreams were dreams that brought with them concerning thoughts and buried feelings.

_I want to see you.._

Too much? Roxas bit his tongue, feeling vulnerable and reluctant. Hayner cared about struggle matches, big ideas, and making good memories. Feelings weren’t his strong suit. Shit, they weren’t Roxas's either. A miracle they’d gotten together in the first place, but the person he felt most comfortable with was Hayner, but this was different than the few conversations they’d had before. This held more _weight._

His screen went black again and Roxas thought of how he could backtrack. Perhaps 4:17 in the morning wasn’t the best time. Or, despite the longing feeling to stare into brown eyes and kiss loud-mouth lips, maybe Hayner wasn’t the right person to talk to. He set his phone down on his pillow, sitting up and hoping that Xion or Naminé wouldn’t mind keeping him company until the memories faded back into the place they belonged.

His phone vibrated and cast a bright light that illuminated the nightmare spot. Roxas turned, picked it up, and smiled.

_come here then_

 

* * *

 

Fall had arrived in Twilight Town. The sunset stayed the same, as it always would, but the change in season welcomed Roxas with a cold wind that made him bristle. He put his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie and started walking.

The woods didn’t sing with activity. No scampering squirrels or cawing crows. Only the breeze and the sound of Roxas's footsteps on brittle yellow grass. He pulled up his hood with a tired, sleep deprived sigh. It reminded him of his time in the Organization. Everything was a fucking reminder, wasn’t it? Every- _fucking_ -thing.

Another breeze came, this one sharper, electric with movement and Roxas caught sight of a shadow bubbling up from the ground. Oathkeeper and Oblivion came when he called like old friends and Roxas dragged the tips of the blades through the grass. A cold, hard fought battle in the woods kept him from seeing Hayner, and with a confident twirl of his blades, he took off.

Roxas flashed from branch to branch, transforming himself into a pure orb of light and then unleashing hell the second he drew close to a heartless. He blocked, dodged, weaved and ran, keyblades whirling in the air as he controlled them with the light and darkness inside of himself. Technique, speed and power seeped into his skin. Multiple lives worth of experience ingrained into his bones. It came to him so easily and if he’d actually worn proper attire, he wouldn’t have been so bothered when a blast of blizzara hit his back.

Roxas stumbled. He thrusted his keyblades into the dirt and took a second to adjust. His teeth clattered together, and his body shivered from the cold. He groaned when a chilly breeze passed by with a mocking ‘ _hello’_. A thunder spell followed, electricity pulsing through Roxas's entire person, but it ignited a fire in his bones, a frustrated, angry, _tired_ fire that wanted nothing more than for the fight to be over.

He raised Oathkeeper in his hand. He closed his eyes, focused on light and the surrounding area, and brought the blade down. Light emitted from the tip of the blade, spread throughout the woods in a consuming, cleansing circle, and one by one, the heartless returned to darkness. Roxas could feel them leave, his ties to both parts of himself making him keenly aware of it.

The fault fell on his shoulders. He should’ve sensed the heartless in his bed at the mansion, but he hadn’t. That dream had thrown him off so badly that he couldn’t do his job. Wearing a sneer to go with his soaking wet hoodie and tongue that sparked with thunder, Roxas dismissed his trusty companions and continued on.

Hayner’s house wasn’t far from the tunnels. The spacious, nicely decorated two-story house had an unmistakable coat of fern green paint and a rust colored rooftop. Hayner’s dad enjoyed working with his hands which extended to interior design. He’d said something about wanting the house to be inviting for Hayner and his friends and Hayner, in his typical angry-but-not-really-angry fashion made a big deal about it. No matter how Hayner played it up, he obviously loved his dad to bits.

Roxas crept closer, keeping quiet and maneuvering through the shadows to get to the side of the house. Hayner’s dad probably wasn’t awake at — he checked his phone — 4:57 in the morning, but it couldn’t hurt to be safe. He crouched down, avoiding being seen in windows and snuck to the side of the house.

Hayner’s window rested high above him on the second floor. Not a problem, especially with a tree nearby that he could use properly. Roxas recalled the time he and Hayner had tried to sneak out to meet up with Olette and Pence. Roxas had landed gracefully bragging about his exceptional skills while Hayner had stepped on a branch of the tree that couldn’t fully support him and fell _spectacularly._ Roxas's laughter had woken Hayner’s dad and the rest of Twilight Town. He had _no_ regrets. It’d been funny as hell.

It looked like he didn’t have to climb tonight because Hayner had taken the initiative and climbed down himself, playing on his phone while waiting for Roxas. The rays from the sunset cast light through the leaves, highlighting Hayner’s hair and giving it a certain glow. Roxas would’ve opened up with some shitty joke about how angelic Hayner looked when he was _far_ from it, but just seeing Hayner after that dream…

Roxas stayed rooted to the spot.

What would he do if none of it was real? If he reached for Hayner’s arm and felt nothing? Roxas felt his heart constrict. He moved a hand to push his hood back and accidentally let out a loud sneeze that would’ve woken Ventus himself.

Hayner’s head snapped up, brown eyes alert and suspicious before they warmed and Roxas felt his knees go wobbly. “Hey, Rox,” Hayner called, his voice subdued.

Roxas wondered if Hayner had secretly been studying magic, because it felt like a magnera spell was pulling him forward. He took quick steps that were usually reserved for getting to class before the last bell but didn’t break the ‘no running’ rule. If he full on ran, Hayner wouldn’t let him live it down. He could only take so much teasing tonight.

With sparkles of frost in his hair and fingers tickling with magic, Roxas smiled at the boy who’d been on his mind for the past few hours. “Hey nerd,” he greeted breathlessly.

Hayner raised a curious brow, taking in Roxas's appearance. “Run into trouble?”

“ _No_ , shut up,” Roxas replied automatically. He glanced down at Hayner’s hand, ready and waiting for Roxas to touch it, hold it in his own and kiss it gently. With careful, trembling hands, Roxas did just that, taking Hayner’s hand and sighing with _relief_ when he felt warm skin and blistered fingertips.

Hayner intertwined their fingers and pulled Roxas closer. “You okay?”

Roxas took in a shuddering breath and held it, just forced his lungs to stop working for a moment as his eyes began to sting. He held onto Hayner’s hand for dear life, his grip turning Hayner’s knuckles white.

 _Fuck_ , was it good to see and _feel_ Hayner.

“Roxas?” Hayner moved his other hand and placed it on Roxas's freezing cheek. He thought he’d warmed up, but feeling how warm Hayner felt compared to himself, it was pretty apparent that blizzara had been a _real_ bitch. “Fuck, Roxas, you’re _freezing_!”

“Sorry,” Roxas whispered, moving forward as he wrapped his other arm around Hayner’s waist. “I know I’m cold. I’m sorry, but…” _Let me stay here like this just for a minute._

Hayner must’ve had the heater blasting in his room, because once Roxas stepped into his embrace, it felt like he was sitting in front of a fire. Roxas had thought, with how wet his clothes were and how chilled his skin was, Hayner would keep his distance. Roxas wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to get soaking wet, but the _dumb nerd_ let go of Roxas's hand and clutched him close to his chest, arms going around Roxas's back and holding him tight.

Stunned into silence, Roxas stood helplessly as his boyfriend trapped him in a hug. Roxas tried moving, fidgeting and saying with his actions that such a gesture wasn’t necessary, but Hayner wouldn’t budge, as stubborn as always.

Relenting, Roxas moving his hands to Hayner’s waist, fingertips touching his shirt before his hands fisted the material. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of _Hayner_ , made up of cheap body spray, sea-salt ice cream, chimney smoke, and oranges. Roxas laughed into Hayner’s neck, pressing a chilling kiss against warm skin. Hayner shivered in his arms.

He didn’t want to lose this. He wanted with _all_ his heart for things to stay the way they were. A tear escaped, falling onto Hayner’s collarbone and Roxas hoped he wouldn’t notice.

Hayner shifted, fingers tightening in the fabric of Roxas's hoodie.

Shit.

“This is the plan,” Hayner said, using that commanding, leader-like tone of voice that Roxas secretly liked. “We’re gonna go up to my room, you’re taking a fucking shower and changing your clothes—”

“Hayner, it’s _five in the morning._ We don’t have time for that. ”

“And then!” Hayner continued, nudging Roxas's head with his chin, “you’re going to tell me what’s going on. After that, we’ll go to sleep, got it?”

Roxas sighed but there was a smile in it. “You need to shower after me since you’re wet, too.”

“I’m fine,” Hayner insisted, moving his hands to rub up and down Roxas's back. “I’m not soaked to the bone like you.”

Roxas laughed, wispy with more air than actual voice. He squeezed Hayner and pulled back to look at him. “Deal,” he agreed, staring into stern brown eyes. “But you’re not climbing that tree.”

Hayner’s eyes widened. “Roxas, wait—!”

Roxas didn’t wait. In fact, he bent down and scooped Hayner in his arms with relative ease, like he’d done it before. He _had_ done it before. After Hayner’s hilariously brutal fall from the tree, Roxas had thought of a better, more efficient way to sneak in and out. A trick he’d learned from Sora that he’d made a habit of using whenever he could.

Hayner fidgeted in his arms. “Rox, how many times do I have to fuckin’ tell you that jumping through my window into my room _isn’t_ the best?”

“Neither of us breaks any bones when we do it, so it’s better than the tree,” Roxas countered. “Plus, it’s faster.”

“That was _one_ time!” Hayner protested, raising his voice and flailing his arms like the whole neighborhood wasn’t trying to get some sleep.

“Hayner, be quiet for _once_ in your life,” Roxas hushed him. He backed up, getting a good look at the window and calculating the best angle.

“That’s fucking impossible and we both know it,” Hayner growled, crossing his arms in indignation. “There’s been some close calls like that time the window wasn’t open all the way.”

“You’re not going to get hurt,” Roxas reassured him, staring down into brown eyes with a seriousness that he reserved for other, more difficult situations. “I wouldn’t do that.”

Hayner rolled his eyes, but a blush had appeared on his cheeks. “You say that shit _now_ , but you’ll kick my ass up and down the Sandlot when we spar.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “Someone’s gotta keep you in your place.”

Hayner glared at him. “I’m about to retract my offer of a shower, a fresh change of clothes, and a bed to sleep in so you have to go back through those woods.”

Roxas changed his tune with a smile that put the stars to shame. “Hayner, _sweetheart_ …”

“Holy _fuck_ , just jump already!” Hayner shouted, squirming in Roxas's arms. Sweet pet names made him so uneasy and Roxas laughed but quietly because he fully understood the concept of _not waking anyone up_.

With hands holding tightly onto Hayner’s shoulder and legs, Roxas ran toward the tree. He felt the movement of the air against his skin. Blue sparks of magic outlined his movements, gravity and wind combining to create a force that allowed for impossible motion.

A few well placed jumps landed him on the branch closest to Hayner’s window. He could only stay for a second and he adjusted their position accordingly so neither of their heads would bonk against the window sill. Roxas corrected his position to the right, Hayner’s body being the first that would enter the room. He crouched, narrowed his eyes, and pushed off with enough force to propel himself forward but not enough to damage the tree greatly.

Roxas pulled his knees close to his chest and Hayner went in first, just as he’d wanted. He followed behind, turning his body to sail through the window and not knock on either side of it. They landed in a heap on the floor, a loud thump that normally would’ve had Roxas panicking. Compared to the chaos of using the tree, the sound was tame. Hayner’s dad would probably just think Hayner fell out of bed again.

“I’m gonna have to take that shower after you,” Hayner groaned miserably from underneath Roxas. “Because now I _am_ soaked to the bone.”

 

* * *

 

Hayner got a full bathroom all to himself. Roxas questioned that decision every time he stepped foot in it. The place made the dump look like a five star hotel. A pile of used towels sat near the door. The trash needed to be emptied. The sink top looked terrible, covered in old toothpaste and sticky hand soap.

Roxas turned slowly, unable to hide the disgust on his face. “Hayner…”

“Don’t say anything,” Hayner said, holding a hand up and stepping into his mess of a bathroom. “I’m working on it, all right? It’s a work in progress. It’s slow, but it’s coming together.”

Roxas sucked in a breath through his teeth. “ _Hayner_ …” he emphasized, because that wasn’t good enough.

Hayner rounded on him, a bunch of dirty towels gathered in his arms. “Rox, I swear to _fuck_ if you say something, I’ll kick you out.”

Roxas said something because he knew Hayner wasn’t going to kick him out. “This is a _disaster_ , Hayner. You live like this? Truly?”

Hayner raised his arms in surrender, dropping the pile of towels back on the floor. “Yeah, I fucking do. You _know_ I have to rush in the mornings so I just throw stuff around because I don’t have time!”

“You don’t have time because you sleep until the last possible second,” Roxas told him. He opened the cabinet above the sink and grabbed a hand towel. The sink top should be clean at the very least.

“Okay,” Hayner said, getting defensive. “That’s how I live my life, what about you? You gonna tell me what’s got you over at my house at five in the morning anyway?”

That had to be some other form of magic, making Roxas forget all about the complicated feelings that had him texting Hayner in the first place. Sometime during their banter and flirting it’d been pushed to the side, but it came back to him like a haunting shadow. He scrubbed at the sink top, hand towel picking up all kinds of unknown substances. “I thought that happened _after_ I changed my clothes?” Roxas said, trying to hide the change of tone in his voice.

Roxas could see Hayner cross his arms in the corner of his eye and he braced himself for a conversation that would need a long explanation, context and energy. Hayner moved closer and Roxas stood up straight. He wasn’t going to hide away from an explanation that Hayner deserved to hear. If he wanted to discuss it now, Roxas would agree to that.

“That was our deal,” Hayner relented. He tilted his head, looking Roxas up and down.

Roxas imagined he looked awful. His hair was damp, his pajama pants were sticking to his legs, and his sneakers were soaked. The twitching in his bones had finally left him which meant that thunder spell was finally gone. He felt pathetic and vulnerable under Hayner’s intense stare, but Roxas didn’t shy away. He raised his dejected, sleep starved eyes to stare at Hayner and ask him, through expression alone, what he wanted to do.

Hayner answered with a flick to his nose and a kiss upon Roxas's ice cold lips. Hayner’s body heat permeated his being and reached down into his heart. Roxas lifted his hands and fisted Hayner’s shirt, bringing him closer, _wanting_ him as close as possible because he’d been crying out for this in his bedroom at four in the morning. Messy, wet kisses that burned him in the best way, the feeling of Hayner’s lips against his own, tongue sweeping across his bottom lip like an invitation for more that left him breathless.

_He was real._

Hayner pulled back and Roxas let go of him with frosted fingers and a mouth that felt like fire. A hand lifted to touch his lips and Roxas leaned into the touch.

Hayner squinted his eyes, smirked, and Roxas knew an insult was coming. “Your lips are _seriously_ chapped.”

Roxas groaned, loudly and dramatically. “I had to deal with ice magic, you _fuck_. Sorry, my lips aren’t in perfect condition.”

Hayner snorted and pulled on Roxas's cheek like the little bitch he was. “I thought you didn’t run into trouble? What happened to that?”

“ _You’re_ gonna run into trouble if you don’t find me a clean towel,” Roxas threatened, eyes piercingly cold. He would wrestle Hayner to the ground and they’d both get head colds. Roxas could be petty when he wanted to.

Hayner threw up his hands. “Yikes! Okay, Mr. Freeze. I’ll find you a towel, _chill_.”

Roxas tried to punch Hayner in the arm but he spun away, laughing his way out of the bathroom like the menace he was.

 

* * *

 

Roxas's shower took fifteen minutes. Hayner’s, on the other hand, took twenty-five. Odd, since usually Hayner made a habit of seeing how fast he could get himself clean. Roxas watched from underneath the comforter as Hayner dried his hair with a towel.

The bedspread and comforter smelled like that _same_ cheap body spray that Roxas begged Hayner to stop using on a regular basis. His pleas were ignored, his cries disregarded. Roxas had to put up with the smell and had even come to… like it, somewhat. He’d never admit that aloud, but he did hunker down in the bed and pull the comforter up to his chin.

“That took a long time,” Roxas said suspiciously. He eyed Hayner, taking in his blue tank top and grey sweatpants. Nothing out of the ordinary there. “Did you fall asleep standing up?”

“No, you _armpit_ ,” Hayner grumbled, sticking his tongue out at Roxas like that was supposed to affect him. “I was cleaning.”

The world came to a complete stop as the words that Roxas thought he’d _never_ hear Hayner say reached his ears. He shook his head, pinched himself, examined Hayner to make sure he wasn’t possessed. “You were? _Seriously_?”

“ _Yes_.” Hayner sounded exasperated. “I’m capable of cleaning, Roxas.”

“Oh, I know, you were just too lazy to do it before,” Roxas informed him. “Just like you’re too lazy to do homework and—”

“Right, anyway,” Hayner changed the subject with a shake of his head and a pointed look in Roxas's direction. “The conditions of our deal have been met. Start talking.”

The abrupt subject change didn’t annoy Roxas too much. They _did_ need to talk. They had to get ready for school at 7:30 and already his mind was spinning with ideas on how to get out of that.

First things first, though. Roxas winked at Hayner from his position in the bed. “Get in bed first.”

Hayner glared but took the wet towel off his head anyway. He dumped it somewhere on the floor, determined to make his bedroom as messy as his bathroom was. He turned on the lamp that sat on the bedside table and messed with his phone. Probably adjusting his alarm to ring at the _last_ possible second.

He glanced at Roxas. “Wanna charge your phone?”

Roxas moved around under the comforter, fishing it out of his pocket “Sure,” he said, tossing it to him. He was silent as Hayner fiddled with cords and outlet plugs, thinking on how the conversation would go. Truthfully, he felt a little foolish getting so worked up about his nightmare. The tender part of himself that he kept rightfully tucked away wanted him to play it off, place the blame on midterms or some project, but he couldn’t lie to Hayner. Not when those fears were real. Not when another nightmare about the _same_ exact thing could have him texting Hayner again in the early hours of the morning.

Roxas valued honesty and he needed to practice what he preached.

“So,” Hayner said, turning off the lamp now that their phones were charging. He pulled back the comforter on his side and slid closer to Roxas, propping his head up with a hand. “You may begin.”

Roxas snorted. “Yessir.” He turned on his side and scooted closer to Hayner with a piece of comforter bundled in his right hand. Hayner received him with a hand on his back, fingers playing with the soft cotton fabric of his shirt. “So I, uh, had a nightmare about you.”

Hayner hummed. “I figured as much.”

“Olette and Pence were there, too, but none of your were real,” Roxas continued, glancing up at Hayner with nervous eyes. “No one was. You all... forgot about me.” He went quiet, the words unsettling him when said aloud. The fear and panic that had set in immediately after, the mounting feeling of something being terribly wrong, the thought of his life being out of his control again. He _hated_ it.

Hayner moved his hand to the back of Roxas’s head to play with the strands of hair there. “This is about before, right? The other Twilight Town?”

Roxas nodded. A growing knot of tightly wound anxiety built in his stomach. The two of them hadn’t yet spoken about tough topics like this. Roxas’s past or where he came from, the black coat that Roxas kept in the back of his closet like a somber reminder, the resolute but jaded aspects of his expression. The metaphysical scars that hurt so much more than the marks on his skin.

The honeymoon phase was over, he supposed. Thanks to him, they had to hit the ground running.

The only sounds were the heater kicking on and the sound of crickets outside the window. Roxas was still, quiet and vulnerable. He took quick breaths, tried not to think too deeply.

Hayner sighed loudly and Roxas looked up at him quickly. Hayner’s eyebrows were furrowed, his lips set in a frown and his eyes crinkled in thought. “Listen, I may not remember what went down in that Twilight Town, but I felt something when Sora showed me your picture.”

Roxas stared at him. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Hayner replied. “I didn’t remember your name exactly but when I saw that picture, I felt like I’d met you before.” He moved his hand to the top of Roxas’s head, running his fingers through blonde tresses. “I knew you before I met you, Rox.”

That left Roxas feeling more confused than anything. Was it possible for their data selves to feel anything from that Twilight Town? Were their hearts really that strong that they could feel artificial connections? Wouldn’t he know being partially made of data himself? Roxas clutched the comforter in his hand, a thousand questions coming to mind. He needed to ask Naminé.

“And even if I did forget you,” Hayner carried on, “I _wouldn’t_.”

A laugh escaped Roxas before he could help it, the ridiculousness of that statement getting to him. “What? That doesn’t make sense.”

Hayner smiled and Roxas’s heart danced in his chest. “I promised Sora I’d always think about you, so if I forgot about you, or if you left, I’d remember you,” Hayner explained. He spoke about it so casually, as if it made perfect sense. As if Roxas had no reason to be afraid of his friends disappearing or forgetting him. It was reality in Hayner’s mind.

Would it be wrong for Roxas to trust in that? To hold onto that surety, grasp it and turn it into his new constant? Trepidation settled in Roxas’s heart, pooling with unease to make him hesitant.

Hayner poked him in the cheek with a finger and Roxas glared, focusing on Hayner. “I mean, aren’t we connected to each other’s hearts or some shit?”

Again, Roxas could do nothing but laugh. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Hayner’s collarbone. “For fuck’s sake, Hayner,” Roxas breathed, closing his eyes. He was so used to Sora saying that, insisting over and over that they were connected, that their hearts were the key, that friendship was his power. After what Roxas had been through, it was hard for him to believe those words, but he’d seen the fruit of Sora’s labor first hand. He just couldn’t believe that Sora had gotten to Hayner, too.

“I’m serious!” Hayner complained, tugging on Roxas’s hair. “The fact that you were familiar to me proves that.”

Roxas held back his laughter, leaning up to place a kiss on Hayner’s chin. “I know. You’re right, our hearts are connected.” He’d seen their connection for himself, when he slept too deeply and fell into a familiar darkness. Three pictures appeared that hadn’t been there before.

Hayner nodded, happy now that Roxas had accepted he was right. “So really, isn’t it impossible for us to truly forget each other?”

Roxas thought on that as he ran his fingers through the curly dampness of Hayner’s hair. There were always extenuating circumstances. Naminé could attest to that. But being connected through hearts alone was powerful. It could bring friends back from the brink of darkness, turn shadows into light, and keep them alive when all seemed lost. The heart truly was a strong thing, and now, _finally_ , Roxas had one of his own.

“It’s still possible,” Roxas answered carefully. The tips of his fingers played with a single strand of dark blonde hair. “But as long as you’re here and you’re _real_.”

“‘Course I’m real!” Hayner remarked. He leaned down until they were face to face, noses nearly touching as warm light filtered into the room. “You and me, we’re real. This moment at fucking —” Hayner turned to look over his shoulder and pick up his phone — “5:52 in the morning is _real_ , Roxas. We can even take a pic to commemorate it.”

Hayner tapped on his phone, opening the camera app and smiling as it changed to selfie mode. Roxas laughed and obliged a smile as the shutter went off, a new picture showing up in Hayner’s camera roll. “Hayner, we don’t have to—”

“We can do a video, too.” Another button press and the camera was recording, Hayner making goofy faces and Roxas trying to snatch the camera out of his hand. “Or a text.” Hayner turned on his other side away from Roxas and typed on his phone. A few seconds later, Roxas’s notification sound on his phone went off.

“You fucking _dork_ ,” Roxas snickered. There it was again. Hayner’s mysterious magic making him forget what he was upset about in the first place.

“You’re just mad ‘cause you didn’t think of it yourself,” Hayner told him, turning back around to face him. “Now there’s proof we’re _both_ real. I bet it’s a hell of a lot harder to erase stuff on a phone than a printed photo.”

Roxas stared up at the ceiling because he _hadn’t_ thought of that. He wasn’t sure if it was completely true, but it was a nice thought. “You could be right…”

“Of course I’m right! I always am,” Hayner huffed.

Roxas side-eyed him. “The tree.”

“I will kick you out of this bed,” Hayner threatened, sitting up on his elbows and glaring daggers at Roxas.

“I’ll take you with me,” Roxas promised, but he was smiling, just as he had been since he’d arrived at Hayner’s place. He felt… better. His fears had eased and the memories that’d been stirred were distant now. Nightmares didn’t just disappear, Roxas knew that, but... “If this happens again,” Roxas started, biting the inside of his cheek, “can I come over?”

Hayner reached over, grabbed a handful of blonde hair and tugged on it. “There ain’t a time when you _can’t_ come over. Just come home with me after school. Save yourself some time.”

Roxas didn’t often feel moved to tears, but Hayner was seriously pushing it. He blinked a few times, tried to think of something else besides the fact that his loud-mouth, stubborn ass boyfriend had told him his doors were always open to him. He couldn’t just reply with an ‘okay’ or a joke or jab. It meant too much to him. The _whole_ night meant too much.

The only answer that made sense to him was one that would make Hayner super embarrassed, so it was a win-win in Roxas’s book. He sat up in the bed, Hayner’s hand falling from his head. Roxas leaned over him, hands on either side of Hayner’s head. Curious brown met grateful blue and Roxas leaned down to kiss him. No chapped lips this time, so Hayner was enthusiastic, wrapping his arms around Roxas’s shoulders and biting his lips. Roxas eased down to lie on top of him, their chests touching as his fingers once again found their way into Hayner’s hair.

Their kisses were always consuming, intense things. Hayner, fierce and harsh. Roxas, sharp and earnest. When they clashed together, hands pulling at hair, teeth biting deep, and mouths gasping for air, it was the most amazing thing Roxas had experienced. When he finally opened his mouth and felt Hayner’s tongue, he saw stars. When Hayner’s fingers pressed into his back, Roxas nearly fainted.

With a puff of air and a dizzy expression, Roxas pulled back. He blinked a few times, getting his bearings and remembering what he was going to say. “Hayner, I—”

“Nope!” Hayner interrupted. He turned on his side quickly and pulled the comforter over his shoulder. “Night, Roxas.”

Roxas wasn’t one to give up easily. Neither was Hayner, but Roxas had his ways. He scooted up next to Hayner and hugged him from behind. “Hayner…”

“I said _goodnight_ , Rox!” Hayner insisted, pulling the comforter over his head.

Roxas just laughed, hugging Hayner tighter. “I love you,” he whispered, squeezing the bundle that was his boyfriend tight. “Thanks for… y’know, tonight.”

Hayner groaned loudly, wiggling in Roxas’s grip until he loosened it. He’d never get over how adverse Hayner was to pet names and lovey-dovey stuff. Roxas was just going to keep doing it until he got over it.

“Same to you,” Hayner mumbled, as if Roxas was going to accept that answer.

“Can you actually say it?” Roxas asked, pulling back the comforter until he saw blonde hair.

“Rox…” Hayner whined.

“ _Please_?” Roxas was nearly choking from keeping his laughter in.

Hayner thrashed and grumbled in Roxas’s arms before finally, he settled and looked over his shoulder at Roxas. “I… love you, too,” he mumbled, the blush on his cheeks as red as Lea’s hair. Roxas savored it, the words, the moment, everything. He kissed Hayner’s nose before they got comfortable for the night.

Roxas slept soundly the second time around, Hayner snoring loudly in his arms. He held onto him tightly, unable to let him go. He could feel him, press his fingertips into his stomach and touch skin. Hayner was real, and the nightmares were chased away.

In the morning, Hayner got up at exactly 7:48 to try and convince his dad that he was sick. Roxas helped with a carefully applied fire spell that warmed Hayner’s skin to fever temperatures. While he was gone, Roxas reached for his phone and opened the text message Hayner had sent to him.

Attached to the text was the picture they’d taken. Hayner sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes and Roxas just laughing. He saved it to his phone and scrolled down to read the accompanying text.

 _we’re_ both _real. I promise not to disappear if you don’t!_

Roxas smiled, bittersweet but true. He wiped at his eyes before he typed his reply.

_it’s a promise._

**Author's Note:**

> hey nerd = hayner!! get it? get it, it's funny. please laugh.


End file.
